Leftovers: Guilt/Shame and so Much More

Each holiday, as a family, we commit to not over plan meals that leave so many leftovers.  I would say, while we might have had some success, we have not mastered the intent of our commitment. The question always becomes what to do with the leftover turkey, dressing, and so forth.  No one ever questions what to do with the ham though.  That meat is the first to be consumed.  
 
Throughout the years, I have made turkey sandwiches, turkey potpie, turkey soup, and dumplings, all of which were not welcomed by the consumers.  Seems like our leftovers are “good” for the next day, but from that point on, no one wants to eat any recycled food from the holidays. The leftovers are rejected. 
 
After a big day or events such as a holiday or vacation, we can all experience other “leftovers” that pile on us such as guilt, shame, and so much more.  A common guilt is overeating or, as some would classify it, gluttony.  This is not a judgment statement, just an observation from listening to so many express guilt of overeating and the shame of gaining weight.  Additional “leftovers” of time with family and friends are divisions, hurt feelings, regrets, sorrow, sadness, and even resolving to not have anything more to do with a particular family member or friend.  Whatever was said, done, or not done left a lasting impact on the relationship and someone got their “fill” of it.  
 
There is a big story recorded in each of the Gospels of the event when Peter denied Jesus.  Here’s the reference for all four of them Matthew 26:33-35, 69-75; Mark 14:29-31,66-72; Luke 22:31-34, 54-62; John 13:36-38, 18:25-27, 21:15-19.  Each account of the denial reflects the author’s specific focus of the event and the specific incident: however, for our purposes, I am going to use Matthew’s account. 
 
Jesus and his disciples had concluded the Last Supper, sung a hymn, and they went out to the Mount of Olives. It is at this point that Jesus predicts Peter’s denial of him.
 
 Luke 22: 31-34 - Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: “‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.  But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.” Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”  “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.
 
Jesus stated Peter would deny him three times before the rooster crows. Peter has just experience with Jesus and the other disciples the Last Supper.  It was such a big event.  He was passionate about his commitment to Jesus. He was “never” going to fall away, even if the others did, he would not. To the point of death, Peter would never disown Jesus.  His heart was in the right place, but he had not been placed in the circumstance that was about to unfold.  
 
Between this exchange, Jesus was arrested and taken before the high priest who declared Jesus had spoken blasphemy, and others then stated he was worthy of death. At this point, Matthew changes to what Peter was doing. 
 
Matthew 26:69-75
 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.  But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
 
 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.” He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
 
After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”  Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”
 
Immediately a rooster crowed.  Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
 
Luke concludes this account with an added point. Luke 22:61-62 - The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
The commitment Peter had declared to Jesus of not denying him had been unsuccessful.  Just as Jesus told him, Peter denied Jesus 3 times.  I want to point out in Luke’s account; Jesus turned and looked straight at Peter.  We can’t speculate what Jesus’ face communicated but we do know Peter’s reaction to the denial; he went outside and wept bitterly.  
 
 When we have events and holidays, we can have “leftovers,” not only food that we have to package up and for some of us, eventually throw away, but also other “leftovers” that impact our emotions and relationships. We have “leftovers” of memories (good and bad); words that are spoken that can’t be taken back or changed. We make decisions based on exchanges during the event that impact others and us. Peter’s “leftovers” of the three denials was going outside and weeping bitterly. What was that look Jesus gave him and was it seared in Peter’s mind and heart? We don’t know: however, Peter’s weeping sounds like deep sorrow over his denial of Jesus.  
 
I would venture to say, many of us do not want any “leftovers” from time with family and friends.  For some, just the anticipation of the event, the thoughts that swirl of the “what ifs” create anxiety.  Hindsight is 20/20 and some of you may even be shackled with “I wish I had not even mentioned… As we press forward toward these two remaining big holidays, let’s be intentional with our time with others. 

1. Purpose in your heart to walk in peace with each person.  Scripture supports us in working toward peace with each other.  Hebrews 12:14 exhort us to;  Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Romans 12:18 encourage us; If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Look for peaceful responses, remembering that being present is a gift and time is precious so as to not leave with hurt feelings. 
 
2. While arriving in peace, have few to no expectations. This disposition allows your heart to be grateful for whatever good comes your way. The expectations you might have, share them so that the probability of accomplishment is higher. 
 
3. Express gratitude to everyone for everything.  Having a heart of appreciation will “sow” goodwill towards all. 
 
4.  When there is disagreement or strife, seek to find common ground or resolution quickly to restore to strained relationship.  Tidy up business before you leave because on the road home, the mess gets worst in your mind, damaged, and resolution seems impossible. Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us;  “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…
 
5. Regarding overeating, forgive yourself, ask God to forgive you and be intentional on the next event/holiday with strategies to make better decisions. It may be helpful to “cruise” through the food area ahead of time to get a lay of the land and make early decisions as to what will go onto the plate.  A boundary might be to not return for “seconds”.  You can do this!  
 
We are eternally grateful for the mercy, love, redeeming and restoring power of Jesus Christ.  Peter’s denial did not lead him down the dark path of rejection and un-repairable destruction but he was redeemed and restored and a mighty clay vessel of God in proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 
 
We can find peace with our family members and friends, enjoy our time together, and demonstrate love to one another.  Enjoy this time of the year.  It’s a Wonderful Life.
 
Blessings, Karen