Words Matter

The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” resonates in my memory on the schoolyard as a child.  At any given recess, you could hear a student yelling it at another student in defense of himself or herself, as they felt attacked by the other students.  In my era, I think many of us really did believe that saying. However, when we returned home, what was said to us at school “haunted” us in our thoughts and for some, those words may have continued with them into adulthood, even defining their identity. 
 
So, I take the premise that words do matter. Have you ever spewed a barge of words at someone in a fit of rage, like a fire truck water hose? Once those words left your mouth, you regretted them, wishing you could scoop them back in a large butterfly net. The damage was already done though.  I would assume that most of us have spilled our thoughts and emotions out onto another person, leaving our mark on them. 
 
One of my favorite social work jobs has been working in the elementary schools as a Special Education Counselor. As an adult, I recognized the playground had not changed since my childhood; students were spouting off offenses to others, leaving a trail of upset and injured fellow students. My role, at the time primarily, involved working with the offender. I worked on social skills with students to help them learn better, more acceptable responses. One of my favorite tools was a book entitled: Have You Filled a Bucket Today by Carol McCloud. The premise of the book is that everyone has an invisible bucket, which holds our good thoughts and good feelings about ourselves. The buckets are either full or empty. When the bucket is full, the person is happy, and when it is empty, the person is sad. Every person has opportunity to impact others everyday by “filling” the bucket by saying kind and encouraging things or “empting” the bucket by saying mean and hurtful things. It is a choice. 
 
Some people are naturally bent toward “filling” other people’s buckets, and it feels like some are destined to “empty” people’s bucket. So, which are you? I am positive that I have filled and emptied many buckets over the course of my life. My children can attest to the fact that I operate in “reality,” so no “sugar coating” things is my style. However, in this discussion about filling people’s buckets, it is not about “sugar coating” anything but being an encourager, and that is a skill all of us can learn. 
 
Words do matter to others and to us. We can choose what we “throw” into someone’s bucket each day, helping their bucket to be full because we all know that living in the world the bucket can be emptied fairly quickly. Galatians 6:10 says, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

Speaking a kind word encourages the heart. Opportunities sometimes just arise, but we can also choose to be intentional and look for people who we can speak life into, filling their bucket.  Sometimes, we don’t know or realize what a word can mean to a person. Proverbs 25:11 says, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver, is a word spoken at a proper time”(NAS).  A timely word is beautiful to the person receiving it.  
 
So how do we begin this quest of filling someone’s “bucket,” blessing them with words that are meaningful, powerful and speaks life to them? 
 
A few suggestions: 
The “Who” do we encourage? 
1. God may prompt you to speak to a specific person. 
2. Look for who may need encouragement. Someone’s face and situation may be good indicators of a need for a kind word.
3. The bottom line, everyone benefits from a word of encouragement.  
 
How are we encouraging? 
1. A kind word 
2. A scripture verse
3. A compliment
4. Helping with information 
5. Deferring your place in the grocery line to a mother with children, to an elderly person, or someone who has fewer items.  There is no end to how we can encourage someone else.  
 
The residual effect is that the giver of the word actually feels blessed in giving encouragement. The kind act just takes seconds to give, doesn’t cost anything, and could be worth millions to the recipient.  
 
I leave you with these encouraging verses as you step out to make a difference in someone’s day.
 
Philippians 4:13 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”. 
 
Isaiah 40:29 “ He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” 
 
2 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
 
And lastly, my life verse: Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you where you go”.
 
Blessings, 
Karen