Happy New Years Eve to all.  I wanted to close this year with a final blog of encouragement of eternal value.  When I started blogging this year in January, it was an act of obedience to what I felt God wanted me to do.  I had set a low bar of success of “if just one” person was ministered to through the words I felt impressed of by the Holy Spirit to write then there was success.  I have enjoyed joining with so many of you in working though issues of life this year.  You have encouraged me in so many ways, so I thank you from the depths of my heart.  I also want to thank my husband Darrell who patiently listened to each blog, discussed scripture with me, checked my usage of scripture and encouraged me along the way.  I want to give a big thanks to my five girls who have faithfully read and edited each blog so that my grammar and sentence structures were “sound.”  While I always prayed about what to write, God used a variety of conversations, situations, and discussions to lead me to each week’s topics.  There were so many times in writing, I thought I was going one way to end up with a completely different direction.  I thank God for His guidance always in every blog.
 
As I bring this year to a close, I have been praying about next year.  I have no word for the new year as of yet.  I know I don’t have to have a word, but I do feel God worked in my life through this year’s word being “trust.”  Jeremiah 17:7 (NIV) says, “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord and whose confidence (hope, KJ) is in Him.”   This has been a year of trust not only for the blog, but in our daily life events. Our hope or confidence is in Him.
 
As I close out this year, I wanted to focus on the big table.  As the time to be seated at the table for Christmas lunch drew near this past Sunday, there were a lot of emotions that erupted, mine included.  We have a big table that can seat a lot of people, easily up to 14 people, however that falls short of the 23 (not including high chair baby Cooper) people who all wanted to be at the big table.  The big table is where the action happens, big discussions, adults interacting etc. but it really mattered to the grandchildren that they would be allowed to sit at the big table and were feeling left out. Of course everyone wanted a seat at the big table.  We are all family and everyone wanted a place to sit, to be included, valued and loved.  We ended up being scattered between the big table, the two children’s tables and the breakfast table. Lunch came and went and we survived the small eruption of emotions.
 
The whole thought of the big table reminded me of the wedding supper of the Lamb in Revelations 19 and caused me to ponder “how big” is that table?  John the Apostle wrote the book of Revelations. As Genesis is the beginning, Revelation is the culmination and revelation of Jesus Christ, being the bridegroom, united with his bride, the church. We catch the first glimpse of the wedding supper being mentioned in Revelations during the third  “hallelujah” over the Babylon’s fall. Revelations 19:6-8 “Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: ‘Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
7 Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. 8 Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.”’ Not to get into eschatology, which I am clearly not an expert, I just want to state we, the church as believers are the bride, and we will be united with Jesus Christ who is the groom. Moving onto Revelations 19:9, ‘Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”’  How do we get our name on the invitation list…to the wedding supper of the Lamb?  To the big table? 

John 3:16 16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 1
 Corinthians 12:13 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. As Christians, the body that we form is the Church.  It is not the physical building we go to occasionally on Easter or Christmas Eve.  It’s the people who have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

Romans 10:9-10 9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Your invitation to the wedding supper of the Lamb is having your name written in the Lamb’s book of life as noted in several locations in Revelation. 

For me, the culmination of the year of blogs would be to ascertain that the Gospel, the Good News has gone forth. I want to proclaim Jesus Christ as Savior. Romans 10:13 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Thank you for “hanging” with me all year long.  I hope to see all of you at the “big” table, the wedding supper of the Lamb.

Blessings,
Karen
PS.  Already have the solution to the “big” table. We will move furniture out of the way and add more tables together to make one big table next year!
 

How do you close out the year and start a new year?  Are you intentional in anyway of letting bygones be bygones, letting past offenses or disagreements be forgotten and “ringing” in with celebratory exclamations the New Year? For many of us, we need a little bit of “clean up on aisle 1” (1 being ourselves) before we enter into the New Year.  If you haven’t already started thinking about, the week between Christmas and New Year is a great time to review the end of the year in closed caption. We need to take care of any business undone, not just in our work place, but with each other.
 
I recently have been reading about the Jewish faith and specifically the holidays.  In the Jewish faith, the New Year does not coincide with the New Year celebrated by the rest of the world. It begins somewhere between September to October and is known as the High Holidays or the High Holy Days.  This New Year begins with Rosh Hashanah, which literally means “Head of the Year” and culminates on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.  These two holidays are connected by the days between them, known at the Ten Days of Repentance.  Yael Eckstein in her book “Generations to Generations” states, “ This is a time of intense introspection, self-reflection, and repentance that leads to asking forgiveness from God and also seeking forgiveness from those whom we have hurt or offended – whether intentionally or unintentionally – throughout the year.  It is a time we can chart a new course and begin the year with a clean slate.” I can’t thing of a better way to begin the New Year, clean up messes and making things right with God, others and ourselves.
 
As a therapist, there are two areas that I view as great aids in the healing process of the heart, mind and soul.  The first and foremost is forgiveness.  We can’t change what has happened and may never have a perpetrator ask for our forgiveness but we, by God’s help, can be set free of the emotional entanglement of the hurt in our hearts, mind, soul and our lives.  And for us as the offender, we need to make things right with God, with the other person when we seek to be forgiven and forgive ourselves. Matthew 6:14-15 states “14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” We are to forgive not being asked to forget the offense.  We are releasing the person of the offense.  How often do we do this?  In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus tells us clearly.  21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.  That is forgiving a lot! Let’s start this New Year off with a clean slate, spending this week reviewing this year and our relationships.  
 
The other power changer for people is moving from the half empty cup to the half full cup view by express gratitude.  Developing a thankful attitude for everything. The passage in Ephesians 5:15-20 gives us tremendous wisdom for life. 15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Living a life of gratitude dispels those dark clouds that want to hang over our heads and discourage us.  Gratitude blows those clouds away and cast sunshine on everything even in challenging times.  There are plenty of research articles of the benefits of expressing gratitude which improve, emotional, physical mental, psychological and our spiritual being.  Seriously consider adding gratitude to your attitude for the New Year.
This week between Christmas and New Year is an excellent time to reset for the coming year by cleaning up aisle “1”.
Blessings,
Karen
 
 

CBS network, on December 9, 1965, premiered an animated special entitle A Charlie Brown Christmas.  Many of you would agree that the pivotal point started in the show on the stage at school when all of the characters began to laugh and ridicule Charlie Brown about his pathetic Christmas tree.  Charlie Brown began to chastise himself about not doing anything right such as his choice of a Christmas tree.  In his frustration, Charlie Brown throws up his hands and yells :Isn’t there anyone who know what Christmas is all about?” At this time in the show, Linus is near Charlie Brown listening to him. Linus stood there on stage with Charlie Brown, holding his blue blanket and sucking his thumb and replied, “Sure Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas was all about”.  Linus appears to be transformed from a small child, still enjoying a blanket and his thumb to a determined and intentional character, moving to center stage and asking for lights.  Linus began to quote Luke 2:8-14 (KJV)
 
8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

At the point of the scripture passage when Linus quoted in Verse 10 “Fear not…” he drops his blanket and finishes the scripture passage with what appears to be in full confidence, pushing through with no fear. At the conclusion of passage, Linus picks up his blue blanket, approaches Charlie Brown and says “That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown”.  Charlie Brown begins to smile, walks over to the puny little Christmas tree, picks it up and walks off, later decorating it with passion.

When this show aired in 1965, I was 6 years old.  I became endeared to the show and Linus’ voice, even to this day sounds loud and clear in my mind the true reason for Christmas.  As we gather with our children every year, reading the Christmas story has been a central part of Christmas Eve.  We have had our challenges of getting through it when our children were small and now with grandchildren.  But as our children did and now with our grandchildren, the bible is passed around, usually starting with the older three grandchildren and then passed onto the next four younger readers to read and proclaim the birth of Christ.  We have seven grandchildren who actively participate in reading “What Christmas is all about” to our entire family. Just as Linus proclaimed the meaning in that little Christmas show, our little voices are now proclaiming the birth our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  The grandchildren are always so excited to read and willing to accept some help with some of those big words to get through their verses to read. Does it take time to read? Yes.  Is there usually someone walking around, crying, dancing a jig, picking their nose, snacking on some treat, and some thinking “Didn’t we just hear this at church a few hours ago?” Yes. But it is important to US! This is the time that we “center” ourselves to “What Christmas is all about to us.” I am fairly sure we give the reason of the passage reading but this year, I am going to be intentional to make sure all of those little ears and eyes know the “why” the Bible is passed around and the grands are reading to the adults.  We need to remember the eternal reason for the season.  Can I just share that all seven of those grandchildren who participate in the reading of the passages have prayed with their mom/dad or us in giving their life to Jesus Christ as their Savior!  That’s a hallelujah praise.
 
Whatever are your Christmas traditions, ask yourself “What is Christmas all about for your family”.   You too may find a deep joy and contentment in celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ...because Easter is coming!
 
Merry Christmas to All
Karen

We are at that point in the year that this phrase
“Tis’ the season”… is used frequently and often times in manner for whatever is happening.  Of course, we all know this phrase is from the Christmas song, Deck the Halls with this notable line of “Tis’ the season to be jolly…falalalalala”.  Did I use enough “lalalas”? I am more like “olly” with no “j”.  I can get excited for this season, but I have to work at it.  I am not the person who starts listening to Christmas music or watching Christmas Hallmark movies even before Thanksgiving is over. I have to “warm” to “tis the season” hoping I get to the “jolly” part.
 
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a “scrooge”.  I would say I just don’t blink red and green the whole month.  The other day, I was back in the orthopedic office, sad to say not a re-check on my wrist but another fracture. “Bah humbug”!  Oh, yes, I just said I was not a “scrooge”.  While I was waiting for my ever notorious name, “Karen” to be called to see the doctor, the office was showing the movie, How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  You are probably not surprised that I have not ever seen the movie, however I did catch an interesting part that I have been ruminating over ever since.  In one scene, the village people put the Grinch in a “cheer chair”.  I have been giving this idea some thought.
 
I don’t know if the intent of the cheer chair was to cheer for the Grinch or for him to find a state of being in a cheerful or happy mood. Obviously, he aligned closely with the attitude of Mr. Scrooge. Please feel free to inform me on the purpose of the cheer chair.  As I thought about the Grinch being put in the cheer chair, at what seemed to be against his wishes, it led me to think about how easy it would be to put an unhappy person in a cheer chair and whatever is making them sour would turn to sweet syrup just by people “cheering” them on…encouraging them and saying nice comforting things to them.  If it was just that easy to cheer up all the people in the world. We would have a chair circling the world instead of Santa.
 
I reminisce of some things we did with our children while they were at home. We often had a “cheer” time in which we would go around the table and say something nice about the person or some quality, or talent that we saw in their lives.  The rule was no repeats. On those occasions, it did not take long for the kids to start spouting out something.  With that many people to give a “cheer” being the 6th person to contribute could be challenging.
 
 Since it is “tis the season to be jolly….” what can we do on a daily basis to sow cheer to others?  Speak words of kindness and encouragement. Proverbs 15:23 says A person finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word! A timely word….many of us have experienced a moment when someone said something to us or we heard a song on the radio that spoke just to what our heart needed to hear. It was like God was “cheering” us on.  I had that moment today in the car just like that.  As I was ruminating over my current plight, I turned on the radio which was on a Christian station and the woman referenced Psalm 139:1-18
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.

The truth: I have not been forgotten by God. His thoughts are ever about me. Verse 5 speaks volumes. “You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.”  I often pray this over people. We are all sewn up in Him. That cheers me on!
As I was meditating on this, I was mindful of the story in 1 Kings 17: 7-24 Elijah had declared a drought and the Lord told him to go to a town called Zarephath.
7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the Lord came to him: 9 “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.” 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, “Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?” 11 As she was going to get it, he called, “And bring me, please, a piece of bread.”
12 “As surely as the Lord your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.”
13 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’”
15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah.
17 Some time later the son of the woman who owned the house became ill. He grew worse and worse, and finally stopped breathing. 18 She said to Elijah, “What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?”
19 “Give me your son,” Elijah replied. He took him from her arms, carried him to the upper room where he was staying, and laid him on his bed. 20 Then he cried out to the Lord, “Lord my God, have you brought tragedy even on this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die?” 21 Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried out to the Lord, “Lord my God, let this boy’s life return to him!”
22 The Lord heard Elijah’s cry, and the boy’s life returned to him, and he lived. 23 Elijah picked up the child and carried him down from the room into the house. He gave him to his mother and said, “Look, your son is alive!”
24 Then the woman said to Elijah, “Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord from your mouth is the truth.”
 
The Widow of Zarephath was at the end of road. She had one meal for her son and her, being the end of their lives.  The Lord directed Elijah to go to the widow for food, fully knowing the widow did not have enough food for Elijah.  She needed cheering on to live. Elijah told the widow to not be afraid but just go do what he told her to do.  Food did not end in her home and even when her son became ill to the point of death, Elijah asked God to let the boy’s life return to him. What was the result? The widow proclaimed that Elijah was a man of God and the word of the Lord from Elijah’s mouth was true.
 
As Christians, let us bear fruit (Matthew 7:17-20) in encouraging others to live, cheering them on because tis the season to be jolly. Remember, for many people, holidays are difficult for various reasons. Psalm 139:11-12 says in our darkness it is light to God.  He has no darkness. Be the vessel of God to cheer someone on dispersing the darkness in their lives and bringing light.
 
Blessings, 
Karen

Each holiday, as a family, we commit to not over plan meals that leave so many leftovers.  I would say, while we might have had some success, we have not mastered the intent of our commitment. The question always becomes what to do with the leftover turkey, dressing, and so forth.  No one ever questions what to do with the ham though.  That meat is the first to be consumed.  
 
Throughout the years, I have made turkey sandwiches, turkey potpie, turkey soup, and dumplings, all of which were not welcomed by the consumers.  Seems like our leftovers are “good” for the next day, but from that point on, no one wants to eat any recycled food from the holidays. The leftovers are rejected. 
 
After a big day or events such as a holiday or vacation, we can all experience other “leftovers” that pile on us such as guilt, shame, and so much more.  A common guilt is overeating or, as some would classify it, gluttony.  This is not a judgment statement, just an observation from listening to so many express guilt of overeating and the shame of gaining weight.  Additional “leftovers” of time with family and friends are divisions, hurt feelings, regrets, sorrow, sadness, and even resolving to not have anything more to do with a particular family member or friend.  Whatever was said, done, or not done left a lasting impact on the relationship and someone got their “fill” of it.  
 
There is a big story recorded in each of the Gospels of the event when Peter denied Jesus.  Here’s the reference for all four of them Matthew 26:33-35, 69-75; Mark 14:29-31,66-72; Luke 22:31-34, 54-62; John 13:36-38, 18:25-27, 21:15-19.  Each account of the denial reflects the author’s specific focus of the event and the specific incident: however, for our purposes, I am going to use Matthew’s account. 
 
Jesus and his disciples had concluded the Last Supper, sung a hymn, and they went out to the Mount of Olives. It is at this point that Jesus predicts Peter’s denial of him.
 
 Luke 22: 31-34 - Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: “‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.  But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.” Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”  “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.
 
Jesus stated Peter would deny him three times before the rooster crows. Peter has just experience with Jesus and the other disciples the Last Supper.  It was such a big event.  He was passionate about his commitment to Jesus. He was “never” going to fall away, even if the others did, he would not. To the point of death, Peter would never disown Jesus.  His heart was in the right place, but he had not been placed in the circumstance that was about to unfold.  
 
Between this exchange, Jesus was arrested and taken before the high priest who declared Jesus had spoken blasphemy, and others then stated he was worthy of death. At this point, Matthew changes to what Peter was doing. 
 
Matthew 26:69-75
 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.  But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
 
 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.” He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
 
After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”  Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”
 
Immediately a rooster crowed.  Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
 
Luke concludes this account with an added point. Luke 22:61-62 - The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
The commitment Peter had declared to Jesus of not denying him had been unsuccessful.  Just as Jesus told him, Peter denied Jesus 3 times.  I want to point out in Luke’s account; Jesus turned and looked straight at Peter.  We can’t speculate what Jesus’ face communicated but we do know Peter’s reaction to the denial; he went outside and wept bitterly.  
 
 When we have events and holidays, we can have “leftovers,” not only food that we have to package up and for some of us, eventually throw away, but also other “leftovers” that impact our emotions and relationships. We have “leftovers” of memories (good and bad); words that are spoken that can’t be taken back or changed. We make decisions based on exchanges during the event that impact others and us. Peter’s “leftovers” of the three denials was going outside and weeping bitterly. What was that look Jesus gave him and was it seared in Peter’s mind and heart? We don’t know: however, Peter’s weeping sounds like deep sorrow over his denial of Jesus.  
 
I would venture to say, many of us do not want any “leftovers” from time with family and friends.  For some, just the anticipation of the event, the thoughts that swirl of the “what ifs” create anxiety.  Hindsight is 20/20 and some of you may even be shackled with “I wish I had not even mentioned… As we press forward toward these two remaining big holidays, let’s be intentional with our time with others. 

1. Purpose in your heart to walk in peace with each person.  Scripture supports us in working toward peace with each other.  Hebrews 12:14 exhort us to;  Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Romans 12:18 encourage us; If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Look for peaceful responses, remembering that being present is a gift and time is precious so as to not leave with hurt feelings. 
 
2. While arriving in peace, have few to no expectations. This disposition allows your heart to be grateful for whatever good comes your way. The expectations you might have, share them so that the probability of accomplishment is higher. 
 
3. Express gratitude to everyone for everything.  Having a heart of appreciation will “sow” goodwill towards all. 
 
4.  When there is disagreement or strife, seek to find common ground or resolution quickly to restore to strained relationship.  Tidy up business before you leave because on the road home, the mess gets worst in your mind, damaged, and resolution seems impossible. Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us;  “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…
 
5. Regarding overeating, forgive yourself, ask God to forgive you and be intentional on the next event/holiday with strategies to make better decisions. It may be helpful to “cruise” through the food area ahead of time to get a lay of the land and make early decisions as to what will go onto the plate.  A boundary might be to not return for “seconds”.  You can do this!  
 
We are eternally grateful for the mercy, love, redeeming and restoring power of Jesus Christ.  Peter’s denial did not lead him down the dark path of rejection and un-repairable destruction but he was redeemed and restored and a mighty clay vessel of God in proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 
 
We can find peace with our family members and friends, enjoy our time together, and demonstrate love to one another.  Enjoy this time of the year.  It’s a Wonderful Life.
 
Blessings, Karen

The Unspoken
 
Now that Thanksgiving is passed and we press onto Christmas and New Year, emotions, hopes, wants and expectations can begin to build.  Let’s unpack those 4 words in sentences in past tense in regards to Thanksgiving, then focus on a couple of specific words more extensively.  “I was so excited for Thanksgiving.”  True, I was excited.  “I hoped we would have a great time”.  True, I hoped we would have a great time and we did.  “I wanted the time to be peaceful”.  It was peaceful other than the normal children squabbles.” “I expected everyone would help in preparing of the meal” and they did.  Each of those areas can be a land mine for hurt feelings.  You may be experiencing the after affects of it right now and hopefully can find some healing before the next wave of holidays. But let’s just focus on the last two of that list, wants and expectations.
 
There are several Christmas songs that mention the word “want” in the lyrics. Mariah Carey has a top hit song “All I Want for Christmas Is You” which is so popular. In 1949, Nat King Cole recorded a song with Capitol Records entitled “All I want is my Two Front Teeth”.  Wow, we have certainly refined what we want since that record.  According to Vividseats in 2016 (the latest I could find), the most frequent 5 words used in the lyrics of Christmas songs were as followed: Christmas, merry, want, know, and baby.  Maybe it’s because we had many years of children in the home, but with the word want, I have a triggered memory. I can hear so clearly someone saying in a strong voice  “I want _____,” to which we faultlessly replied “we don’t always get what we want”.  The truth is, we do want to provide what our loves ones “want” for Christmas. As a child, I seem to recall the response to be “the want may go on wanting”.  Has anyone ever heard that saying before? While the desire to meet “wants” is real, we all have limitations and reasons the “wants go on wanting”.
 
Wants tend to be fleeting.  Today, I may want a SUV but tomorrow I may want a sedan.  Expectations kick up the thoughts to another level, almost like a demand on what should happen.  It is a stronger implication of what the gift or situation should result in for the person having the expectations.  So let’s focus on the strong feeling/word of expectation because with it comes a whole lot of baggage.  I have seen many people carry hurts in their hearts as a result of unmet expectations.   Let’s define expectations in two categories, spoke and unspoken.  I remember very vividly when Isaac and Andrew were a senior and junior in high school. I posted on their door a “Martin Luther” thesis stating that I expected their room to be cleaned by 5:00 pm or their car keys were to be put on the kitchen counter.  That note got action and my expectations were fulfilled. I wasn’t expressively descriptive as how to clean but the time frame was firm. Both boys received the message loud and clear and the mission was accomplished. What would have complicated their ability to met my expectations would have been if the expectations were unrealistic…say they were on a bus going to a soccer game out of town.  That would have been unrealistic of me to think cleaning their room on that day by 5:00 pm would happen.  Unrealistic expectations are a whole other issue. But let’s focus on the unspoken expectations.
 
In Luke 10:38-42, we read the about Jesus’ visit to the home of Martha and Mary. 
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.
It appears to me that Martha had expectations of what she was trying to prepare for Jesus’ visit, which put stress on her and to add insult upon injury, Mary was not helping.    How could Martha change the problem?  Go to the person with authority, Jesus.  However, as she took the issue to Jesus, she took with her the expectation of His response…that of correcting Mary of her “lack of help” with the preparations.  Contrary to Martha’s expectations, Jesus supported Mary in her actions of sitting at His feet, choosing what is better, and that it would not be taken away from her.  Mary was choosing something eternal and Martha was focused on the temporal. 
 
Our expectations, especially the unspoken ones are packed with emotions and many times are unrealistic. As an example, I may have an expectation of Darrell surprising me with a 30 day River Cruise through Europe, already dreaming of the time away, the sights and experiences we will have and quiet time together.  As Christmas comes closer, my anticipation of his gift grows, my heart and steps are light and I am bubbly, having a hard time of waiting for the day. When the day of Christmas finally arrives, my expectation of a grandiose trip goes up in flames when I open the small box of earrings.  In my mind, nothing could compare to the expectations of what I had built in my mind.  Putting on a plastered smile, I muster gratitude for the earrings while smoke is coming out of my ears from the expectations of the trip going up in smoke. And for most of us, when our expectations are not met, we walk away with a little singed part of our heart, carrying it with us for a while or always.
 
How can we do better at expressing our expectations and realizing unspoken expectations are rarely met? First and foremost, express the expectation with those who are the most likely “helpers” in meeting them. In discussion, seek what is possible and probable.  Secondly, remember, people are not mind readers.  How can I even have a chance of Darrell knowing that I want to go on a river cruise if I haven’t informed him in a clear or forthright manner. I am fairly sure the “realistic” conversation would ensure and I would come to my senses.  Thirdly, do a self -evaluation of the expectation, asking the “why”.  Why do I want it?  Even when an expectation may be good like “no family fights” it needs agreement with all of those involved.  Or I want to be surprised with a big new ring…why?  So I know he loves me.  Wow, that is a large land mine and potential for a lot of damage.  A different approach is much better than setting yourself up for a big fall because of dashed expectations.
 
As you enter into this next month with excitement and anticipation growing up to the time of Christmas, keep a finger on your pulse, checking your unspoken expectations.  Reveal expectations to those who it concerns.  Give them to God, letting them go and creating a mindset of gratitude for each day God gives us.  When we keep God centered in our needs, wants and emotions, releasing our expectations to Him, things will look brighter and happier.
 
Blessings,
Karen

Happy Thanksgiving! For Darrell and I, this holiday “tops” them all. I think it’s the combination of weather, activities and tradition and Darrell would add, his birthday. I just had to highlight the word: tradition. The older we get, the more engrained this holiday is for Darrell and me. I would venture to say, for the most part, we celebrate Thanksgiving in close similarity as to that of our family of origin and our grandparents’ family. What keeps us eating the same food, participating in the same activities and enjoying our loved ones’ company? Tradition.

In 1964, Fiddler on the Roof made its debut on Broadway. Songfacts gives a wonderful outline of the play. “In pre-Revolutionary Russia, the growing anti-Jewish sentiment casts a dark cloud over the Jewish village Anatevka where the protagonist Tevye lives with his wife and daughters. The villagers cling to their customs, including the traditional roles of a husband who works outside the home, a wife who oversees the household, and children who follow in their parents' footsteps until a spouse is chosen for them. But Tevye begins to realize that the outside world has different ideas.” The original opening song was focused on the Sabbath. However, after much debate about what the play was trying to communicate, which was the shift in their lifestyle and their traditions were being challenged, a new opening song was written entitled Tradition.

The initial scene opens with a person playing a fiddle on a roof and the father, Tevye speaking a prologue: (Tevye) "A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy. You may ask why do we stay up there if it's so dangerous? We stay because Anatevka is our home... And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in one word... Tradition."

() Tradition, tradition... tradition…tradition, tradition... tradition.

(Tevye) "Because of our traditions, we've kept our balance for many years. Here in Anatevka we have traditions for everything... how to eat, how to sleep, even how to wear clothes. For instance, we always keep our heads covered and always wear a little prayer shawl... This shows our constant devotion to God. You may ask, how did this tradition get started? I'll tell you - I don't know. But it's a tradition... Because of our traditions, everyone here knows who he is and what God expects him to do."

There is so much truth in this opening line and so reflective of this week of Thanksgiving. We are all trying to live in our village, scratching out a pleasant simple tune (like the fiddler on the roof) without breaking our necks. Why do we do this and try to keep our balance? Tradition, and we have been doing it for years during this week of Thanksgiving. We are not sure how the tradition got started, but it’s tradition. We carry on with it remaining faithful and for many of us remembering that God is center in our traditions of Thanksgiving.

Look at these top 10 traditions for Thanksgiving according to EF Academy Blog.
1. Watch Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
2. Break the wishbone for good luck
3. Eat a traditional Thanksgiving meal
4. Take a nap
5. Share what you’re most thankful for
6. Watch an American football game
7. Be grateful for Friendsgiving
8. Run a Turkey Trot
9. Shop till you drop on Black Friday
10. Give back

Of this top 10 Thanksgiving traditions in the US; most of us are batting 80% to 90%. We are right in sync with US traditions. It keeps us in “balance”, makes the world seem right, less threatening and more “home grown”. We love our traditions. Have you ever tried to change or delete one tradition? Mutiny would be on the brink. But if I could “tweak” one tradition, it would be the time we spend in our thanksgiving to God for ALL we have. We need not save our thanksgiving to God all year long just to sit around at the right time and express it quickly. We will continue this tradition but are going to be like the fiddler on the roof….scratching out a pleasant simple tune of thanksgiving all year long for a better balance to our life - so beholding to our God who sustains us moment by moment.

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! 1 Chronicles 16:34

I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. Psalm 9:1

I will give to the LORD the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the LORD, the Most High. Psalm 7:17

Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! 1 Chronicles 16:8

Sing to the LORD with thanksgiving; make melody to our God on the lyre! Psalm 147:7
I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. Psalm 69:30
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! Psalm 95:2

I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD. Psalm 116:17
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! Psalm100:4

And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy! Psalm 107:22
Give thanks to the LORD of hosts, for the LORD is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!’ Jeremiah 33:11

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1Thessalonians 5:18

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty, who is and who was, for you have taken your great power and begun to reign. Revelation 11:17

“Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.” Revelation 7:12

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:2-5

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for his steadfast love endures forever; Psalm 136:1-3

As you enter this week of Thanksgiving, remember the traditions that should be carried throughout the entire year….to bring balance to our life. As Tevye proclaimed at the end of the song "Tradition. Without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as... as a fiddler on the roof!"
Blessings,
Karen

The phrase when God shows up implies God is not always present. However we know that is not true by the very fact of His attribute of Omnipresent which means God is in all places at all times.   It’s hard for our mind to even conceive how that can be possible since we are defined by space and time but God is superior to our finite limitations.
 
Psalm 139:7-10,  “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”
 
Jeremiah 23:23-24 “Am I only a God nearby,” declares the Lord, “and not a God far away? Who can hide in secret places so that I cannot see them?” declares the Lord. “Do not I fill heaven and earth?” declares the Lord.
 
I am fully convinced, as the truth of scripture teaches us, that God is everywhere all the time but when I think of this phrase or implementing it, I am referring to a demonstrative, specific event in which something has happened and people are declaring the glory of God having seen His movement. What is quickly expressed is thanksgiving and praise. God manifested Himself. 
 
We have all experienced those “God Winks” as used by Squire D. Rushnell the writing of his multiple books with the phrase “God Winks” in the title.  In a promotional lead for When God Winks, it was noted, that “Squire Rushnell teaches you how to use the power of “Godwinks”—divine coincidences—to seize certainty in uncertain times, and enrich your career and relationships.” We all have experienced “GodWinks” at times such as praying for a close parking spot and one immediately opens up.  Or the time(s) your church was having a potluck, you are looking at the food on the table verses the line out the door and quickly summarizing that there is not enough food to go around.  So during the blessing prayer over the food, you are additionally praying a heart felt encouragement to the Lord to s-t-r-e-t-c-h the food so everyone is fed.  And wa – la it happens. There are so many of the every day happenings that we can contribute to God going before us, being involved in our lives and what concerns us. 

But what I am talking about feels a lot bigger.  Do any of you remember at the end of a sermon at church in which an invitation was given which resulted in the front of the church being full of people receiving Christ, rededicating their lives or being called to full time Christian services?  I knew God showed up. I remember being at summer camp of Falls Creek Baptist Camp seeing and being part of large altar calls where hundreds of youth walked the aisles for a commitment to the Lord.  It was a hallelujah time because God showed up!
How about Philip and the Ethiopian in Acts 8: 26-40
26 Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” 27 So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of the Kandake (which means “queen of the Ethiopians”). This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, 28 and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the Book of Isaiah the prophet. 29 The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.”
30 Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked.
31 “How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.
32 This is the passage of Scripture the eunuch was reading:
“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
    and as a lamb before its shearer is silent,
    so he did not open his mouth.
33 In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
    Who can speak of his descendants?
    For his life was taken from the earth.”
34 The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” 35 Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.
36 As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. What can stand in the way of my being baptized?” [37]  38 And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him. 39 When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing. 40 Philip, however, appeared at Azotus and traveled about, preaching the gospel in all the towns until he reached Caesarea.
God showed up in the Ethiopian’s life.  An angel led Philip to encounter the Ethiopian, sitting in a chariot, reading the book of scripture Isaiah without having real understanding. Philip explained scripture and led the Ethiopian to Christ, baptizing him immediately that day.
Those big times of God showing up in our lives are not always salvation related.  I remember our first semester at seminary.  We knew when our money would run out which was the week of Thanksgiving.  I was at work and Darrell was at home with the 5 children, being the “at home worker”, taking classes, teaching homeschool and keeping up the house.  We knew our money was gone.  My mom and dad had sent a gas card so we could get to their house for Thanksgiving but we still had 3 days before we were to leave.  Darrell had surveyed the food supply and counted 5 corn dogs, one for each of our children for lunch that day. Darrell was vacuuming in the back room and was thanking God for providing for our family when he couldn’t provide since he was in school full time.  He knew God was going to “step up” to meet our needs. The kids came running into the room telling him there was someone at the door holding a “whole bunch” of food.  Darrell went to the front door and there was a man from the main office at seminary holding a box full of everything for a Thanksgiving meal.  God showed up that day, knowing the need with prompting the person to meet the need in His perfect timing. 
There are so many scripture passages to encourage us in our faith to believe God is going to “show up” with what we need. 
Peter’s deliverance from prison Acts 12:5–7
The Widow of Nain Luke 7:11–17
Abraham and the ram Genesis 22:13
These are just a few of God’s timely responses to needs, all demonstrating His purpose and provision.
In this beautiful month, in which we are intentional to express our gratitude for His bounty in our lives, there may be some of you that need God to “show up” in a very real way in your life. The Lord’s attribute of faithfulness ensures that He will meet your need.  If I can be of any assistance in supporting you in prayer, please let me know.
Blessings,
Karen
 

We are post event one day of “falling back.”  If I had to choose between the two, “fall back” or “spring forward,” I would certainly choose to “fall back.”  However, that phrase to “fall back” rings a different thought in my mind.  I think it comes from watching too many John Wayne movies or military movies of World War II.  According to Idioms and Phrases, the phrase believed to be “derived from a military meaning to retreat in the 1600s.”  Collins Dictionary notes the meaning to be “to withdraw; give way; retreat.” Those definitions are precisely what I think of having been heavily influenced by military movies.  My assessment would be if someone yells retreat, run like a lion is after you and get to safety.
 
Many of us may not use the exact term to “fall back” but we have withdrawn, given way and retreated from others.  When we have felt attacked with unkind words, our natural response is to retreat or even recoil from the perpetrator. It’s hard to stand firm, hold our ground and let the assault happen.  As a child, I had a plan of action if someone came into the house.  I would hide under the bed, certainly thinking as a child would think that the intruder would not look under the bed.  I have matured in my plan of action. Now I would ask God to drop them in their tracks.  Now what that means is up to God’s choosing.
 
I love the story of Gideon largely because I feel I can relate to being afraid and unsure of the courage and strength an action may require.  In Judges 6, we find the Israelites under great oppression of the Midianites. The Israelites had done evil in the eyes of the Lord.  So for seven years they had been ravaged by the Midianites so much so that they had fled to the mountains and sought refuge in caves. The Israelites cried out to God who in turn sent a prophet to them in verses 8-10 who said, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I brought you up out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.  I rescued you from the hand of the Egyptians. And I delivered you from the hand of all your oppressors; I drove them out before you and gave you their land.  I said to you, ‘I am the Lord your God; do not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you live.’ But you have not listened to me.” The Israelites had retreated from the land that God had given them and were being overrun, their animals and crops were ravaged.  Their plan was to “fall back,” no defense, nor repentance for their sins, beaten into hiding.
 
The Lord sent an angel who sat under an oak tree and began to engage Gideon who was using a winepress to thresh wheat to keep it from Midianites. In verses 12-16, when the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.  “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.” The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.” Gideon had no confidence in overcoming the enemy, nor in God using him to defeat the Midianites.  His clan was the weakest and he was the least in his family.  Gideon saw himself on the short end of the stick.  He felt he was of no value in defeating the enemy and was giving the reasons to “fall back” and retreat.

Even though he was afraid, in verse 27, Gideon did as the Lord instructed him, tearing down the Baal altar.  He did it at night because of the fear of his family and of the townspeople. The rest of chapter 6 of Judges tells us of Gideon asking for signs to confirm God’s directive and in chapter 7, Gideon leads a selected group of men to defeat the Midianites.

I want to recap the story by pointing out what got the Israelites into trouble from the very start.  They embraced the culture that we were exposed to instead of being people set apart by God. In our space and time in history, we need to be very mindful of who we are in Christ and the counter culture that is so prevalent. Have we taken on some of the practices or thoughts that are so prevalent and does not reflect our God?  Let’s remember these scriptures of encouragement.

Matthew 5:13 You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

1 Peter 2: 9-10 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Let’s maintain being set apart however when God calls us to “spring forward” and not “fall back or retreat.  Let’s remember the truth found in the life story of Gideon.  When God calls us, we need to run as a lion toward evil. Remember, He sees us as mighty warriors.  We go in the strength we have because He is sending us. God’s presence will go with us and He will fight the battle and win.  

At times, God may tell us to walk away and to “fall back.” However let’s make sure to prepare now by developing deep confidence in the Lord, which will produce boldness to “spring forward when we need to.”  We are living in evil times and God may use us to rise up for His righteousness sake.  We are mighty in the Lord.
Blessings,
Karen

 
The one accessory that is a must for me each day is earrings.  I feel “naked” or “undressed” if I don’t have my earrings on before I leave the house. My number one go to earring pair is my pearl earrings.  I can go to the store without make up in tattered jeans but I must have my pearl earrings in. I do wear other earrings for specific attires but my daily, most frequent wear are the pearls.  Lady Sarah Churchill, the Duchess of Marlborough and the daughter of Sir Winston Churchill expressed my sentiments perfectly in a quote about pearls. “I feel undressed if I don’t have my pearls on. My pearls are my security blanket.”  Hum, I have never exactly thought of them as a security blanket; however, I do feel some distress if I reach up and touch my ear lobe and they are not there or one has fallen out. I will quickly purchase another pair. Pearls have been a favorite of mine for some time.  I totally agree with Jackie Kennedy – the wife of the 35th American President John F. Kennedy - who said, “Peals are always appropriate.”  So, when in doubt how to accessorize, wear pearls. You can never go wrong with any attire with pearls.  What makes pearls more special, in my opinion, than other jewels?  An old Chinese proverb says, “Pearls don’t lie on the seashore, if you want one, you must dive for it.” So lets do a deep dive about the significance of pearls. To do that, let’s look at the creation of the pearls.  Precious metal and jewels are found in the ground and excavated, cleaned, buffed, and cut to enhance their worth; however, the pearl is the only jewel found in a living creature.  Pearls are found primarily in oysters, fresh water or saltwater, but even more rare in clams and mussels. Pearls are started when a foreign substance, which becomes an irritant, enters the oyster and becomes embedded. According to HowStuffWorks, (April 16, 2021) How do Oysters make Pearls?, we learn that “­The formation of a natural pearl begins when a foreign substance slips into the oyster between the mantle and the shell, which irritate­s the mantle. It's kind of like the oyster getting a splinter. The oyster's natural reaction is to cover up that irritant to protect itself. The man­tle covers the irritant with layers of the same nacre substance that is used to create the shell. This eventually forms a pearl.” 
The oyster, by covering the irritant with nacre, is trying to make the irritant bearable but the outcome is truly a unique, beautiful piece of creation. I don’t know about you, but if I have a splinter, I to try to remove it quickly.  Honestly, if I anytime of irritant, I look quickly for a relief.  In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul is speaking about boasting.  In verses 5-7, Paul states, “I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.  Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say,  or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.”
 Paul was given an irritant to keep him from being conceited. Paul went to our Father.  In verse 8, Paul pleaded with the Lord to take the thorn away but to no avail. The Lord had another reason for that thorn. In verses 9-10 it says, “ But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  Paul embraced the “thorn” as part of his life, resting in the grace and strength the Lord gave him to endure the thorn.  I try to “run,” get rid of it, avoid the pain, and lessen the time of having to tolerate the irritant.  Yes, I need to seek God for relief or release of the irritant, but if He chooses not to, I need to rest in His grace, which is sufficient for me, to endure the situation and the difficulties it produces. It’s for Christ’s sake in my weakness I am strong.  We have all met people who have suffered so much and testified that it was because of the Lord as in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” “Thorns,” when covered with the Lord’s grace, strength to our weakness for His glory and purpose, create a beautiful, one of a kind “pearl” that we can share with others as encouragement with their “thorn.’
The oyster endures the irritant by surrounding it with his own substance, incorporating it into its very being.  As a result, a precious pearl, full of beauty and value is produced.  Could be that by us “hanging tight” to the Lord through irritants in our life, the trials and tribulations that are unwelcome but arrive at our door, the grace of the Lord to have His perfect work in our lives, will produce a life beautiful and honoring of Him? I will always look at my pearls as a reminder of the Lord allowing un-pleasantries to come my way for His glory. An anonymous author said, “What is important with pearls, is the woman who is wearing them.”  Let’s be women full of grace, having a long string of pearls reflective of the work of the Lord in our lives. Blessings, Karen
 

Fall is off to a quick start and I can’t believe October is almost over.  There are so many things I like about this month like candy corn, pumpkins, leaves changing and all of the butterflies in a flurry everywhere.  I have intentionally cultivated a garden that would attract these pollinators so I can selfishly enjoy watching them flutter around my house and yard. While I have no preference of butterfly color, I do have some that I notice and enjoy. For example, the small, bright, yellow ones that are very prolific or the Monarch Butterfly because of their migratory life.  I saw a beautiful large purple and a black butterfly that were so majestic.  I love all butterflies but I fancy the Monarch Butterfly mainly due to their travel life.
 
 
As missionaries, I can fully relate to maybe not a migratory life but certainly transitional lifestyle. We lived in multiple countries in multiple houses and traveled to multiple countries for various reasons.  During our “life span” in Mexico City, I learned that the Monarch Butterflies migrated to several areas in Mexico.  The closest area to us was the National Park of El Nevado de Toluca and I was determined to go see them dragging the entire family.  The perfect opportunity, so I thought, presented itself when Tiffany, our oldest attending college in Oklahoma wanted to bring her boyfriend Travis down to meet us during Spring Break.  Hindsight is perfect so “they” say and it was probably not the most perfect plan I ever had to implement with people who were not butterfly enthusiasts. To be painfully truthful…. teenagers do not care if they see the Monarch Butterfly in their migratory location.
 
We packed lunch and I enthusiastically talked up the trip as a great opportunity in life to see trees completely orange due to the magnitude of butterflies as we traveled the two hours to the areas. We had planned additional time in the park nearby to ride horses and four wheelers. That was to be the trip saver if the butterflies did not overwhelm them. Upon arrival and much to my dismay and anguish, we were at the conclusion of their overwintering hibernation.  To be able to see whatever butterflies were left in the forest mountain, we would have to hike up the mountain a couple of miles.  Okay, need I say more?  What I had envisioned our time being in the splendor presence of untold number of butterflies, painting the trees orange had just imploded in my mind.  At this point, only Travis was being kind about the adventure, because the rest of the troops were “belly aching” but marched on.  We did rent a couple of horses to carry a few of us up the mountain.  Why we did that I don’t know.  I yielded my horse to the most vocal complainant, which then turn into a comical fiasco because this is the child who was afraid of horses and to add insult upon injury was riding on a small trail straight up the side of the mountain.
 
I wish I could report that the lengthy endeavor bore out fruitfully but then I would be fibbing. Did we see some Monarchs,?  Yes we did but if I was honest, it was probably the dead carcasses of Monarchs who did not live long enough to leave the trees. Darrell said they were there by the thousands but not the millions as anticipated.  Fortunately, the entire trip was not a bust because lunch was good and the kids really enjoyed the four wheeling and horse riding activities. Oh the plans we can conjure up with very little consideration to the time, cost, value and potential damage on those whom we impose those plans.
 
The thought of plans led me first to the Tower of Babel.  In Genesis 11:1-19 we find that the whole world had a common language and speech.  The people were moving eastward and settled in a plain called Shinar.  It’s here that they concocted their elaborate plan to build a tower.  In verse 4, they lay out their plan. “Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.” In their plan they had three goals: build a city for themselves, have a tower to reach the heavens and to make a name for themselves.  There was nothing about God in that plan.  Then God responded.  In verses 5-7 it says, “But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building”.  The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.  Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.” And the Lord’s results: He scattered them over the earth and the building on the tower was stopped.  They couldn’t communicate with each other, hence, it’s called Babel.  People were scattered around the world with different languages. Oh the plans we can conjure up.   
 
 
I have heard people ask or discuss if God needs to be involved in every decision that we make.  I believe there is a balance, one that reflects the “sense” that God has given us.  Nowadays, that very word “sense” should not be held as an absolute because “common sense” and what is right and wrong is all mixed up in our society.  We take to God whatever decision we feel we need help making or appear to be in question.  That sounds simple, but for me that pertains to low hanging fruit decisions that we make daily.  Should I go to the grocery store today or tomorrow, where should we eat etc? Actually, we feel at a loss of decision-making power when it comes to where to eat so that might need to be prayed about.   A good practice is to start the day with prayer and asking God to order you steps, to be under the direction of the Holy Spirit and to reflect Jesus to everyone.  This helps with our daily activities.  God can put us in the right place at the right time with the right person who needs to know about Jesus.  Now for the bigger plans, those that affect relationships, finances, career, church, ministry, God should be in the very middle of those decisions.  We need Him to keep us on the straight and narrow, not to get derailed by our own thoughts that lead to ungodly decisions. Our plans should reflect God’s influence and direction.  He will work all things out with timing, resources, provisions and all that concerns us.  Scripture is full of biblical wisdom on plans.  I have listed just a few to encourage you to center on God before making plans,
 
Blessings,
Karen
 
 PS: Consider reading another tragic plan developed by people that took them to an unwanted destination. Exodus 24-32. (primarily Chapters 24, 31-32)
 
 Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 16: 3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.
Proverbs 16: 9 In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

At the end of September, a friend posted an October scripture reading challenge where all of the verses mentioned eyes.  I picked up the gauntlet and have been reading various scriptures all pertaining to eyes, most of which are about His eyes, the Lord’s eyes, on us. This month’s verse focus has brought to mind the verse Psalm 121:3-4 which states “He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. His eyes are never closed.”  I have often said in my prayers “God, don’t you see how your loved one (or I might use a specific name) is suffering, in pain, is lonely, in need, etc.”  When I pray in that manner, I am questioning God as to whether He is seeing what I am seeing.  I feel my own rebuke for even giving a breath to His lack of seeing the situation.  The truth is that He saw it long before I did in a completely comprehensive, all knowing manner.
 
Three years ago, I had an experience that I fortunately had only heard about but never experienced.  I was sitting in my area in the ICU at the hospital one Monday morning and turned my head rather quickly to the wall clock wondering how time was passing.  In that movement I saw burst of light and flashes followed by “floaters” little spots floating in my vision.  As I turned back, I knew immediately, without asking anyone I had a torn retina. I also knew that to prevent permanent, irreparable damage, the eye would need to be treated by laser within a week.  Only by God’s help did I really have such a grasp on what just happened.  The experience was classic symptoms. I informed my supervisor and left early that day in search of an eye doctor who took my insurance so that I could have an exam.  I still had vision and drove myself to my area of town. I parked in one of the parking lots in the shopping area.  I began to pray, asking God to help me in my search of an eye doctor harshly chastising myself for not knowing my eye care insurance and my lack of attention to the care of my eyes.  By God’s power, the first office I entered was able to service me immediately giving me a limited report of both of my eyes given their exam limitations.  It’s an understatement to say I was overwhelmed with the description of what the doctor said but moreover dismayed that this was not a one-stop remedy office.  The eye doctor could not fully assess my eyes, so I would have to be referred to a retina specialty doctor.
 
Do you ever feel like things are just not simple in life any more?  While I felt some relief to have a referral to the retina doctor, I quickly discovered that due to insurance I needed a PCP referral not just a referral from the eye doctor, or maybe the better term is eye examiner. You know, the people who evaluate you for glasses.  Nevertheless, I already knew the PCP referral was going to be an issue because the Thursday before I tried to see the PCP for an issue; however he was out of town for several weeks.  I once again was going to the Lord for help because I knew this was a problem that couldn’t be shelved for weeks.  I had seen a random doctor the week before who, while not in practice with my doctor, was in network with my insurance.  Because he had seen me the week before, by God’s divine intervention, he was willing to write a PCP referral to the retina specialist. See, while God sees all, never sleeps nor slumbers, we know God is at work. In John 5, Jesus had gone up to Jerusalem and saw the pool called Bethesda. John 5:3-7 says “Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, Do you want to get well? Jesus healed the man on the Sabbath, which incited the Jews to persecute him for doing such things.  In verse 17, “ In his defense Jesus said to them, My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.”  Jesus saw the man’s need and he worked on his behalf.
 
Not only are His eyes always open, He never sleeps nor slumbers but He is always at His work daily.  God knew the event would happen on that Monday morning.  The previous week, I had a rare occasion to need to see a random substitute doctor who then, because he had seen me the week before was willing to write a referral for me to see the retina specialist.  This was not just good luck or happenstance but God saw me, was already working on my behalf to meet a need I didn’t know I was going to have the next week. I saw the retina specialist the next day on Tuesday and on Friday had that week laser surgery for the torn retina, which was located at the 6-9 (0’clock) place in the right eye.
 
I never express enough gratitude for my husband. Prior to the surgery, Darrell called the elders from our church seeking to follow James 5:14-16  “Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” I appreciated the elders coming to our home to pray for me. Prior to their visit, in my prayer time, the Lord led me to Psalm 37: 23-25 stating “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” This was a confessional of my faith as I faced challenging situation. 
The surgery was a success and I thank God for enabling me to see, literally, 2 new grandchildren and the others grow. Working through these eye verses reminds me that God’s eyes are on me. God is good, faithfulness and loves for me. He sees you too! He has not gone to “sleep” on your prayers!  He is working even when we don’t see Him working.  There is peace in trusting God.
If you would like the “eye” verses, I will share.
Blessings
Karen

I grew up in a home that was a fan of John Wayne (JW).  I don’t recall a single movie that “was out of bounds” to watch with JW.  I remember going to the drive in and having to close our eyes during the previews of other movies but not with JW.  The one movie I remember from the drive in was “McLintock”.  The movie was a western comedy, which was released in 1963.  True to his form, JW was “loud and proud” in his performance.  This movie’s copyright was not guarded and became public domain about 1991 as a result often telecasted.  Our “smart” tv plays the movie frequently and I was intrigued by a line I heard recently while watching the movie. In addressing his movie wife, Maureen O’Hara MH, JW says to her “you women are always raising h__ about one thing when it’s something else you’re really sore about”.  Who knows how many times I have seen that particular scene but never gave it another thought until now.
 
I have to agree with JW’s line.  So many times, what presents, with our demeanor, tone, words, and actions are really a “smoke screen” to what is really bothering us.  We initiate the “silent treatment”, avoidance and short responses as evidence that something is wrong in our heart and mind but when asked we dismiss the actions, as “oh nothing is wrong”.  I don’t know who, we think we are fooling, our husband, God or even ourselves. I would suggest there is a root cause to our outward responses that don’t match up to “oh nothing is wrong”.
 
I would venture to say that the story of Jonah is an all time favorite of most “churched” children.  I certainly have mentioned the story in a previous blog but let’s look at it again with maybe a different “filter” or “lens”.  In Jonah 1 it opens with  (NIV) “The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” There is no doubt that Jonah received the instruction but refused to accept the assignment.  We see immediately Jonah in action.  Instead of “fight”, Jonah took “flight”. He ran away from the Lord boarding a ship going in the complete opposite direction than Nineveh. God had not merely suggested to Jonah to go to Nineveh but commanded him to go. God pursued Jonah because God had a purpose to be fulfilled in the lives of the people of Nineveh.  Jonah, chapter 1, details how Jonah was tossed over board by the sailors to calm a storm and gobbled up by a large fish that God sent.  Up to this point in the story, most of us would classify Jonah’s presenting problem as disobedience to the command of the Lord. I would agree but let’s continue into this book of Jonah.
 
Chapter 2:1-10 opens with Jonah praying.  His problem has brought him to communicate with God.  From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.  He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.  You hurled me into the depths,
into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me.       I said, ‘I have been banished from your sight; toward your holy temple.’  The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head.  To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit.  “When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple.  “Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.  But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.”  And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land. 
 
Jonah voices a powerful prayer to God and exposed that he had previously vowed to God. Jonah has a change of mind and goes to proclaim the message that the Lord had given him to the people of Nineveh. In Jonah 3:10, the result was “When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.” These results of a change in the heart of people and their return to God would be what any Sunday morning preacher would be shouting Hallelujah. But it was not so with Jonah.  Now we deep dive into the root of his problem. 
Jonah 4:1-4, But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry.  He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.  Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”  But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”  Jonah is in a full pity party, sitting by himself in the heat.  God grows a plant to shade him, provided a worm to eat the plant, which withered the plant, sent extreme wind and heat so much so Jonah wanted to die.  God has the final words in verses 10-11; But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight.  And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”
 
What would you say “really” is the problem with Jonah?  What is the very root of his anger?  Jonah did not want the people to have opportunity to repent because Jonah knew God was gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love. Jonah was angry, that the people has an opportunity to repent and could it be that he was also angry at God for his compassion and love for the people?
 
I think many times we have just “surface” problems like Jonah’s disobedience but there is a deeper root problem and I would even go so far to say it might be anger.  We are angry that our expectations were not met, we were not valued or respected by someone or God disappointed us and the list goes on of the violations we feel.   I would even go so far as to say, with anger we attach a face to it.  Maybe not the correct face, which would be displaced anger, but there is usually a human face we see as the culprit or cause of our anger. 
 
I do believe that sometimes we don’t really know what the root is of us being out of sorts.  Next time you find yourself falling into giving the silent treatment, avoiding people, expressing curt or short responses and lack the joy of the Lord, go before the Lord and ask Him to work Psalm 139:23-24 in your heart: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me.
 
We need to deal with the root of our problems because our heart is affected. Remember Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”.
 
JW got to the root of the issues with his movie wife, MH.  Later in the movie at the high point of “shenanigans”, JW says to MH, “You are going to tell me why you packed up, picked up and walked out on me 2 years ago”.  MH response “You came home from Denver with lipstick all over” at which point MH falls out of the window. She was angry and suspicious of JW’s behavior. This is a great example of the lack of communicating with each other about what is truly bothering us but having surface responses something is wrong. An additional comment on this movie is that while it was a western comedy, JW, at the root of motivations wanted to express his political position, which was in opposition of what was historically happening in the US.
 
 How do we respond? Communicate with God first, sorting things out and getting our heart cleaned up.  We may have to make amends to those who have been the “faces” of our anger.
 
Blessings,
Karen

Saturday was an interesting morning.  Darrell and I had our usual walk and I had “directed” myself that I was going to attend to some long overdue garden issues.   Since my mother died, I haven’t had much gusto to decorate for the holidays but this season I was going to improve upon my feeble attempt from last year.  I rummaged through a corner in the garage and located some of my fall yard décor.  I had decided to stick a cute sunflower flag in the corner of the front stone flowerbed.  At that spot, the bed is mid thigh high.  Instead of climbing into the bed to step down on the prongs, I just threw my right leg over the top level of the stone bed and was successfully able to press the prongs down.  It was a quick fix.  No problem until I attempted to swing my leg back over the top of the ledge and my shoe got caught.  My foot flew up and I braced my fall to the ground with my left hand. Lying on the ground, I thought quickly I should arise lest one of my neighbors would think I was injured.  Two prideful thoughts infiltrated that colossal mistake.  Scripture says in Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.  Certainly it was my overwhelming pride in my agile ability to do the act in that manner and caution to the wind that while I am 63 I think I can move as if I am 30. I certainly did not want my neighbors to see me laying in the yard, in the front yard of the house on the corner by the neighborhood entrance in need of help.  My whole mentality and actions screamed of my pride and haughty spirit, which did end in a fall. I will check with Darrell about that scriptural application.

Pride is not the topic this week but prayer.  I called out to God in prayer in the midst of my excruciating pain and in between making some phone calls. I asked God to sustain me through the pain.  I even pepped talked myself that I had birthed 5 children naturally, confident I could manage the wrist and arm pain.  That was another one of my prideful moments. Darrell was not at home at the time of my fall but I called him. We were not sure if it was a sprain or a break/fracture.  After some time, I decided I would take myself to urgent care.  Darrell was coming right behind me in his truck.  On the way I focused only on God, asking Him to continue to sustain me in the pain, to heal me and give the doctor wisdom.  How quickly I called on the attributes of God to meet my needs.  Prayer is our lifeline to our God for all of our needs.  Prayer is one of our foundational activities in our fellowship with God our Father.

Every thing, topic, thought, forgiveness, sin and need can be taken to God in prayer. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) scriptures says: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:4-8 instructs us to: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Jesus speaks about prayer in the Sermon on the Mount. Matthew 5:1-13 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
 “This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
 Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts,
 as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”

Later in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7:7-12 Jesus stated,  “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.  These words ask, seek, knock are commands in present tense to 2nd person plural “ya’ll.

 Our prayer is not only for our needs but to also express our adoration of God, hallowing His name and expressing gratitude.  I did get to the point of expressing thanksgiving to God that the waiting room was not full, I was seen relatively quickly, there was a clear diagnosis, treatment and prognosis. 

Here are some people in scripture you might know that prayed to God for help.                                                                                  
Courage:                                                                       Moses - Exodus 3:12-12
                                                                                        Daniel - Daniel 6:10
Direction/Wisdom:                                                    Solomon – 1 Kings 3:7-9 
Distressed/Help:                                                             David – Psalm 77:2-6
Provision:                                                                          Abraham Genesis 22:1-18
Healing:                                                                            Ananias prayed for Paul Acts 9:13-17
                                                                                           Peter prayed for Tabitha Acts:9:32-43
Fear:                                                                                  Gideon Judges7:3-15
 Thanksgiving:                                                                 Paul - Philippians 1:3-6
I leave you with this truth we can go to God with anything and everything.  God is big enough to handle all of your emotions, thoughts, worries…. the whole kitchen sink of dirty dishes.  God is good and loves us. 
I did fracture my wrist. No surgery needed.  Brace for 6 weeks.  (I am thankful that I have another hand to type)
Blessings,
Karen

I enjoyed my time as a Brownie and Girl Scout.  Friendship was a core value of the organization. so much so that the Girl Scout song rang out with the importance,
Girl Scout Make New Friends.

Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver, the other is gold.
A circle is round, it has no end.
That’s how long, I will be your friend.
A fire burns bright, it warms the heart.
We’ve been friends, from the very start.
You have one hand, I have the other.
Put them together, we have each other.
 
Friendship has been a topic I have given considerable thought to in recent years.  I think that moving so much in the past and then more recently moving in older age has driven me to consider what I value in friendship, developing new friendship and maintaining or rekindling old friendships.  I challenge each and every one of you to consider what you would enumerate as the most important traits of a friendship.  Additionally, how many “friends” have been successful in meeting your “standards” and how long were they able to maintain that position of friendship? 
 
When we were moms and dads with our little quivers, we encouraged friendships, instructed how to make friends, inquired of their friends…we wanted our children to have friends. For the most part, we valued friendships and viewed our children as successful if they were able to establish friendships. Scripture gives wisdom, direction, meaning, and value to what it means to be a friend.  In 1 Samuel 18, we enter the story of Saul as the first King of the Israelites.  King Saul had a son name Jonathan. However, due to decisions that King Saul made, his legacy of kingdom reign for his family was to be cut off and a young shepherd boy who was fearless, brave, and a champion, not only for his people but for his God, was to be the new King.  David had a heart after God and came into the life of King Saul when David demanded to be allowed to defeat the Philistine giant, Goliath who was defaming the name of David’s God. After David defeated Goliath, King Saul felt David was a threat to the legacy rule of his kingdom.  However in that complicated mess King Saul’s son Jonathan became a deep friend with David. Actually, the two had a strong loving bond. 
 
In 1 Samuel 18:1-4: After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family.  And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.  Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.
 
The prophet Samuel had anointed the shepherd boy David to be King. After David had won a significant battle, Jonathan gave his prince possessions and figuratively speaking his position to David.  Jonathan yielded his generational right to be king to what he knew was right in God’s eyes for the kingdom.  Jonathan gave his robe and tunic, representation of his position as prince and heir to the throne.  He gave David his sword, bow, belt, which signified strength, power and bravery.  Jonathan loved David his friend and recognized God’s hand on David to be the next King. 
 
The story of the friendship between Jonathan and David continued through the rest of 1st and 2nd Samuel.  Loyalty, care, “got your back” attitude, protection, allegiance and pledge of care for Jonathan’s son demonstrated the depth of their friendship.  Even in the death of Jonathan, David fulfilled his word to care for Jonathan’s son. My takeaway from this deep friendship is that friendships are good for the soul and can honor God. 
 
How many friends should we have?  Do I tell all of my hurts and needs to every one I talk with or spend time with in life? Psychologist Robin Dunbar developed what is known as the Dunbar number, which reflects 6 circles of friendship.  In the most inner circle, is 1.5 people which is reflective of ourselves and an intimate partner. In the 2nd circle, there are 5 close friends.  Some say 3-5 close friends.  Per Dr. Dunbar, these are the people that you have poured 200 hours into knowing them.  The 3rd circle has 15 best friends.  I wonder if any of you have 15 best friends.  For me, the words of the 2nd and 3rd circle would be reversed but I did not do the research, so it’s not mine to assign identification to.  The 4th circle has 50 good friends.  The 5th circle has 150 friends and the final 6th circle has 500 acquaintances or individuals, which you know their names.  I like the word acquaintances because right now, I am not sure I would remember all of their names.  This concept of friendship circles may be very familiar to you.  Begin to process through and put some of your “peeps” in the different circles.  If you are interested in them moving locations, start spending more time and exerting more effort toward them or in some cases less if you want to distance yourself.   One of my core values in a friendship is that it is reciprocated or is a mutual relationship.
 
There are individuals who due to trauma, distrust, abuse, and a lot more interferences or individuals who have Autism or have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) have the inability, barriers or lack the skills to have friendship.  In these cases, the ability to develop relationships may be challenging however may be improved by intervention.
 
Are you thinking about starting new friendships or re-evaluating the friendships you currently have in life? Study these verses of wisdom from scripture (NIV) about friends.
 
Proverbs 12:26 The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 22:24-25 24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
1 Corinthians 15:33  Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
 
Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
Proverbs 27:5-6 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
 but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Proverbs 18:24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
 
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
 
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
 
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Job 42:10  After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.
 
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
 
John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
 
Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
 
Luke 6:31  Do to others as you would have them do to you.
 
Colossians 3:12-14 Therefore, as God’s chosen people,  holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
James 4:11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another.  Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it.  When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.
 
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing  out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.
 
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
 
Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
 
Job 6:14 Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
 
Job 16:21 My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God.
 
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
 
1 Peter 4:8-10 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
 
Proverbs 17:9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
 
The truth is we all need friends.  It is one of the basic needs God created us to have… be in “community with one another. Friendships can have an emotional, mental, spiritual and even a healthy impact on us physically (that’s for all of you friends that walk together not only through the deep waters but down the street or in the park). Go be a friend.  Someone needs you as much as you need them.
 
Blessings,
Karen
My True Friend by Abimbola T. Alabi
You always answer when I call
And help me up if I should fall,
But you never complain at all,
My true friend.

You confront me when I am wrong
But will never scold me for long,
Instead, you try to keep me strong,
My true friend.

You know the funny things to say
To make me laugh my fears away.
Like the sun, you brighten my day,
My true friend.

You see in me gifts I deny
And urge me to give things a try.
You spread for me my wings to fly,
My true friend.

You always perceive what I need
And offer it before I plead.
Just like a book, my mind you read,
My true friend.

You value little things I do
But won’t brag of what you do too.
How can I ever repay you,
My true friend?

And greatest of all I have found
When times are tough and I’m down, You are the one who sticks around,
My true friend.